Thank you so much for your last letter about your getting spanked for giving chocolates to Hannah and Rachel. I'll bet they felt just awful about what happened to you as well what happened to them.
Sometimes, and even Cathy will agree with me, it's worse to see your sister get a spanking for something you helped cause. Oddly enough, though I was always punished more frequently, it was Cathy who was the rebel in the family. She would get so frustrated with me for accepting Mom's strict discipline with such docility. I would patiently try to explain to her the value of a correction and to cooperatively submit to the hairbrush or strap. Sometimes, even as I was still weeping and smarting from a spanking, I would defend Mom's actions to her and gently chide her for questioning Mom's judgment.
As the older child, by three years, I am held responsible for my actions when we are together. Although, I love my sister deeply, she is a spirited and sometimes headstrong girl who chafes under the restrictive rules that govern our family. This has resulted, all too often, in my being punished along with her. On those occasions I know that I must set the example for her and so I cooperate with Mom and do my best to take my spanking like a big girl. Scarcely a week goes by that I'm not subjected in some measure to a dose of corrective pain or humiliation. I feel when that happens, I feel that Mom and I share a very special intimacy. I also feel protective toward my little sister and sometimes accept a spanking on her behalf to spare her from Mom's occasional wrath.
When she would ask me about it, I'd tell her it was "OK" because it usually "did me good". I truly believe that Mom's rules and requirements are fair and that if I fail to fulfill them then I deserve to be disciplined. I often feel that after the punishment, I feel a great sense of relief and serenity. The stain of my guilt has been washed clean by a therapeutic application of the hand, hairbrush or strap to my behind. No matter how severe the thrashing, I always express my love, and sometimes my gratitude to Mom immediately following the correction. I guess the main issue I might have is that Mom sometimes punishes us in front of each other, I feel terribly embarrassed to be spanked in front of my younger sister. My pleas to be spanked in private are often overruled as Mom believes that such humiliation adds to the effectiveness of my correction. She also feels that Cathy will learn by witnessing the consequences of misbehaving.
Sometimes, when Cathy is venting, I try to calm her down by patiently reminding her that even when Mother is really hurt and angry at us, she almost always holds and comforts us when the punishment is over. As I describe these tender moments, I feel my soft face take on an intense rapturous glow. Such is my sincerity in accepting this form of maternal love that I know that sometimes Cathy feels profoundly moved. For her part, Mother often speaks with pride about my capacity to take spankings "like a young lady." "My Janet's such a good girl", she'll gush, "she almost always fully cooperates, albeit reluctantly,with her chastisement." Hearing her say that make me blush with embarrassment …and pride. I might ask for compassion or explain why the severity of my spanking should be mitigated but when my final appeal has been made, I accept my mother's judgment without further question.
When instructed to raise my dress or lower my panties, I may blush intensely and my delicate hands will tremble something awful, but I do my best to comply without argument. Cooperative though I am, I am by no means a stoic. Halfway throughthe preparations for my spanking, tears will be trickling down my flushed cheeks. And while I can be brave for my hand spankings, I find I can never endure the hairbrush or strap without uttering shrieks of agony and breaking down into piteous sobbing. But, even in the midst of a frightful suffering, I valiantly strive to maintain the proper position and not interfere with the strokes that are tormenting my defenseless bottom. It takes lots of concentration and effort but it really feels worthwhile to hear Mom commend me for displaying such "maturity" and "self-control".
My Mom's trust in me is such that sometimes she will ask my opinionon what punishment would be most effective for me. I can freely express my thoughts on which instrument of correction should be used, how many blows should be administered and whether my panties should be up or down. Mom says that she can usually rely upon me to choose appropriately and often I will hesitate only briefly before selecting the hairbrush, strap or switch. During these discussions, there isalways a fearfulness in my heart, and my voice quavers but there is not a trace of resentment.
At any rate, like your guardians, Mom holds that disobedience and dishonesty merit severe punishment. With her gone most of the day the opportunity to cheat is high. We've even figured out ways to get past hawk eyed Mrs. Maloney. But the price of getting caught is sufficient to deter most of our desires. So you understand just how serious my Mom is, in my next letter, I'll share with you an incident, that occurred when I was twelve and Cathy was nine.