*Janet's responses are in bold*
I was so happy to receive your letter! Although I'm a little embarrassed that Lizzie shared it with you. I guess I shouldn't be, since you seem to be going through the same thing!
Please don't be upset with Lizzie. Imagine how hard it was for me to share my story with your sister. But I felt I could trust her and took a chance. I told her a little at first and she was so sweet and understanding. I actually felt more comfortable talking to her than I do talking to my sister Cathy. Lizzie is never judgmental. Cathy is abit unpredictable and while she is mostly sympathetic to my situationas "the girl who's older and should know better", she can sometimes come out with hurtful responses like "I can't believe what a sheep you are, Janet; you just stand there and let her pull down your panties" or even worse, "I'm glad you got it; serves you right for being Miss Goody-Goody."
Your letter couldn't have come at a better time, considering what happened to me yesterday. It started a few days ago when Ruth came to me to ask me how I felt about babysitting the girls after school. I was in my bedroom reading a magazine when I heard Ruth calling me from downstairs.
"Alana!" she called, in her friendly voice, which has returned since my last spanking. "Alana? Are you here?" she called again.
I made myway to the top of the stairs."Hi, I'm here!" I called back, coming down the stairs. She was yelling down the stairs to the basement, assuming I'd be down the r playing with the girls, as I usually was.
She walked toward me and we met somewhere near the entrance to the living room. She invited me in, and had me sit down.
"I want to talk to you about something" she said. She was so sweet about it, I knew I wasn't in any trouble.
"Okay" I replied.
"As you know, I took a leave of absence from work when...when you parents passed away. Well, Monday morning I'm going back. The girls have had a babysitter up until now, but I was wondering if you'd like to watch them." I didn't say anything for a minute, so she continued. "We thought you might like the opportunity to make some extra money. But if you don't want to, we won't make you, we can keep our regular babysitter. It's totally up to you."
"I can do that. It's no problem." I said.
"You know the rules here, and I expect you to make sure the girls follow them when I'm not here. And that goes for you as well."
"I know." I said.
I'm proud of you Alana. That was the right thing to do. Helping to take care of a younger child does so much for your self development.I remember when my Mom gave me a similar speech except I really didn't have a choice. But if I had I would have chosen to be the one to take care of my little sister. I also don't get paid but I think it's great that you are. I suspect you understood your aunt's caution about the rules.
"Great, thank you Alana" Ruth said.
So Monday afternoon rolled around, and everything was going fine. Hannah and Rachel were downstairs in the basement running around and playing, and I was upstairs sitting at the kitchen table studying. Behind the table was a large bay window looking out into the backyard. Being mid-October, the outdoors are a beautiful thing, with the leaves changing color and all. So I turned around to look out thewindow and was shocked to see that it was snowing! Not just snowing, but blizzarding! Winter is my favourite time of year, and the first snowfall is very special and exciting to me. Since it's so early inthe season I was shocked. I ran to the top of the stairs and called down to the girls.
"Hey! You guys! It's snowing! Come see!" I called, excited. They came running upstairs, and when they saw the snow they were just as surprised as I was. "Come on, let's go outside!" I said, opening the sliding door and stepping out onto the back porch. They followed.
"Try to catch the snowflakes on your tongue!" I said, and they stuck their tongues out and started hopping around trying to catch snowflakes. I did too.
"I got one! I got one!" cried Rachel.
"Me too!" Hannah exclaimed.
We stayed outside catching snowflakes for a few minutes, until wewere too cold, and went back inside. Once inside Hannah asked me if she could have a chocolate.
"No, your Mom told me not to give you any treats before dinner." I said.
"Please!" Rachel chimed in. "We won't tell!"
"Well..." I thought a minute, knowing that if I gave them what they wanted they would absolutely love me, even more than they already did. "Okay" I said, going to the cupboard, thinking that one small chocolate wouldn't really make a difference. They followed me to the kitchen, and we were standing facing the wall, discussing the chocolates.
This is the dilemma of being the older sister. You're still a sister and yet you must function like a quasi mother. You empathize with how they feel especially when it seems like something that's no big deal. It's not like one chocolate would kill their appetite. Still if you give in, you're condoning disobedience and dishonesty.
"Okay, you can each have one, but you have to promise you won't tell your Mom."
"I promise!" Hannah practically yelled. Before Rachel could make her promise as well, Ruth was demanding to know what was going on.
"Girls!" she said very firmly, and we all spun around to see her standing behind us. She must have come in while we were outside. She approached us, and took the chocolate box from me.
"What did I tell you before I left this morning?" she demanded.
"No treats before dinner" I said quietly, knowing I was in trouble.
"And what I did I tell you two before I left this morning?" she demanded of Rachel and Hannah.
"No treats" Hannah said quietly.
"Rachel?" Ruth demanded.
"No treats" she said, even more quietly.
"I want all three of you upstairs in my bedroom right now. Go!" she exclaimed sternly, but without yelling. And all three of us went. Once upstairs, all three of us kind of just stood around awkwardly,waiting. None of us spoke. A few minutes later Ruth came in.
"Sit down, on my bed" she said, and we did. "I will not tolerate disobedience or lying, and all three of you know that. So I want to know right now exactly what happened. Rachel, tell me." she demanded of her eldest daughter.
"Hannah asked Alana for a chocolate, and she said no." Rachel said.
"And then Rachel said that we wouldn't tell!" Hannah exclaimed,obviously hurt that she had been the first to be blamed.
"And then what happened Rachel?"
"Alana said that we could have one if we didn't tell. And then you came in." Rachel said.
"So, all three of you are equally responsible. You two know better than to even ask for sweets before dinner, and you Alana, knew the rules and were expected to enforce them. So, all three of you will be punished."
"No, I...." Hannah began.
"Stop!" Ruth exclaimed. "You know the consequences of your behaviour,and I will not listen to any arguing. I want you all to go to your rooms and get your spoons. You are to bring them directly back to me"she said.
We all slowly went to our rooms and retrieved our spoons. I'm sure Rachel and Hannah were nervous, but I was downright scared. After my first and only spanking, I've done everything in my power not to earn another. It hurt like crazy! I could barely sit down for like...days afterward!
Once we were all back inside her room she closed her door.
"Rachel, Hannah, I want you both to go stand over by the wall facing me" she said, and they moved to where there was a large window and stood in front of it, facing Ruth who was standing at the side of her bed.
"Alana, you are being spanked now for giving the girls chocolate after being told not to, and you will be spanked after they are as an example of what happens when you disobey."
"What? That's not fair! They're the ones who asked for it!"
I know you will find this hard to believe but there will come a timewhen in such a circumstance you will take the whole blame upon yourself and seek to protect the two little girls. And then they will truly adore you. And your guardians will smile to themselves and burst with pride. Taking a spanking to protect your little sister or cousin is an act of the deepest love, courage and beauty. The good emotional feelings you will have will more than compensate for the discomfort of the spanking. The effect of a spanking lasts at most for a few days. The effect of a selfless, loving act lasts for a lifetime. And then don't be surprised if they don't some day return the favor.
"Hannah, please tell Alana what the consequence is for arguing about a punishment."
Hannah looked at the ground, and then spoke. "You have to stand in the corner for half and hour, and then you get spanked with the strap."
"Are you prepared to continue arguing Alana?"
"No" I said without any attitude, genuinely afraid of the strap.
"Good," Ruth said sitting down on her bed. "Now come here," she said, and as I walked toward her it occurred to me that the girls would watch me being spanked on my bare bottom, and the embarrassment set in. She reached out and took the spoon from me, and set it down beside her. She then reached out, undid the snap on my pants, and just as she was about to pull them down, I instinctively tried to stop her.
"Please don't" I begged, my eyes teary with embarassment and anticipation.
"Move your hands right now Alana, you've just earned yourself an extra punishment" she said, and as I slowly moved my hands I remembered the day that Ruth hit Hannah's hands with the spoon for reaching back and immediately regretted what I did. She tugged my pants down to my knees, and guided me over her lap. She rested her hand on my back, and secured me in place with her other arm. She began to lecture me about obeying her and doing as I was told. Before long I felt her hand lift from my back and slap back down sharply on my panty-covered bottom. She continued until I was crying, which took quite a while because I was somewhat determined not to cry in front of the girls. Part of me was too proud to cry in front of them, and another part of me wanted to be brave so they wouldn't be as scared.
Welcome to the world of big sisters. Getting it in front of your younger siblings is perhaps the most trying aspect of a spanking. I, of course, understand and accept your aunt's logic, though I don't like it. And, how we older sisters try to suppress our natural urge to cry fearful that little sister will think less of us. Or that we'll think less of ourselves. Mom has told me that a spanking is supposed to make a girl cry. Anyway you know that your aunt will just keep spanking you until you do cry. Anyhow you're a brave girl andI'm sure you've earned everyone's respect.
Eventually I couldn't hold back. As my bottom surely turned a bright shade of pink, the sting had compounded and I began to cry. Ruth continued for several minutes after that. I had no idea someone's hand could hurt that much!
I'm not surprised. Moms who spank a lot learn how to tighten their fingers and use their whole palm. Also, they don't let you clench so what they're hitting is soft and pliant.
After what felt like an eternity she pulled down my panties. I knew better than to reach back, but trust me, I wanted to! She paused for a second, lectured some more, picked up the spoon, and started spanking me with it. It stung! I can't believe how much it stung! I didn't know what I was going to do, I didn't think I could endure it! I couldn't help it, I started squirming and trying to get away. I didn't care what the girls thought at this point. Ruth just tightened her grip and spanked harder. I felt so helpless!
Poor Alana. I felt my own bottom tingle as I read your description. As far as that shameful feeling of having your panties pulled down, it never gets any better. At least you didn't have to watch while she did it. That's the worst. Still her exposing you like that that in front of younger girls is really awful. Is Ruth one who yanks them down or sort of peels them down ceremoniously? Mom is definitely inclined toward the latter to prolong the humiliation or as she puts it, "enhance the salutary punitive effect". I guess you better get used to it as much as you can. I'd still try and bargain about it especially when Hannah and Rachel are watching. My Mom agreed that for "responsibility" type punishments, she wouldnot take them down. However, anything remotely connected to disobedience or other bad behavior and it's "take down your panties, young lady." And if the offense is particularly egregious then I lose that "privilege" and have to toe in before her and suffer the shame of having my panties lowered by my mother. And then when that hard wood pounds your soft naked flesh, it's so hard to keep from wriggling around too much and forcing yourself tostay in position. One thing I do is, whenever Mom pauses during thespanking, I try to wriggle back and press my body close to her side. It shows that I'm trying to be cooperative.
Finally though, she stopped and let go of me, though she kept rubbing my back. After a few seconds of my crying she told me to stand up. I did, and tried to rub my scorching bottom with one hand, and cover myself with my other hand. She was having none of that though. She immediately wanted me to hold out my hands. I reluctantly did, dreading what was about to happen. She raised the spoon high into the air and brought it back down onto my open palm. I don't think I've ever experienced that kind of pain before. All I could do was cry out and hold my hands together, hoping the sting would go away.
"Put your hands back out please" Ruth said, a lot more gently. It was almost a little reassuring. I knew there would be consequences if I didn't, so against my better judgement, I did. She hit my other hand just as hard, and I cried out even louder. I thought she was going to do it again, but instead she helped me to the corner, and placed me in it, though facing outward to watch. As I was desperately pressing my hands together in attempt to dull the pain, she reached down and pulled my panties back up. Apparently modesty is important. And that hurt too! Ruth put her hand on my shoulder, leaned in, and quietly said "I'm not doing this to be cruel Alana, I want you to learn"
Ruth is so much like Mom. She's strict because she knows it's the right way to parent but she's also reassuring of her love. Rubbing your back, saying please when she instructs you to put out your hands and gently reminding you that the hand spanks are to help you learn.
Spanking you gives her no pleasure other than the satisfaction of knowing that she's administered a fair and effective punishment.
She then turned to the girls, who were standing quietly against awall. Hannah looked a little shaken and had tears in her eyes. Rachel wasn't as phased, though she wouldn't let others know what she was really feeling. Ruth sat down on her bed and called Rachel to her. Rachel approached her slowly. She was small for her age, opposed to her younger sister Hannah who was a little bit bigger than her.
Whenshe was finally standing in front of Ruth, Ruth reached out and took her spoon.
"Rachel, why are you being punished?" Ruth asked sternly.
"Because I asked for chocolate even though I know we aren't allowed...and then told Alana that if she gave it to us we wouldn't tell you." Rachel said shakily.
"Good. And why would that be wrong?"
"Because it's lying, and lying is a sin."
"Yes, it is. And that's why I have to punish you. It's my job to make sure you learn what's okay and what isn't" Ruth said.
She reached out, undid the snap on Rachel's dark denim jeans. Rachel was wearing a cute little outfit, dark jeans with a red long-sleeve shirt with a while collar. It made her appear a little bit older than she is, but when Ruth tugged the jeans down around Rachel's knees and exposed her pink cotton panties, her young age became clear. She took hold of Rachel's arm, and pulled her over her lap. She didn't take the time to lecture her that she did with me. Instead she began spanking her right away, slapping one cheek, and then the other. It didn't take her long to cry, but she didn't struggle. She seemed to accept her punishment, maybe because she knew she did something wrong, and that there would be consequences. After a minute or so, Ruth picked up the spoon and continued to colour Rachel's bottom. Rachel continued to cry, and apologize, but never told her Mom to stop. Once she did stop, Ruth hugged Rachel and reassured her that she loved her very much, and Rachel apologized again. This process was repeated with Hannah, who responded in the exact same way Rachel did.
As I watched Ruth spank the girls, and watched their responses I began to understand that I deserved the punishment I was getting (for the most part). I broke a rule, and no matter how unimportant of a rule it was, it's a rule. And if Ruth let it go, she would basically be telling the girls and I that we could get away with disobeying her. So although I definitely didn't think I should be getting the second spanking, I did understand her reasoning.
Oh, Alana, I so want to hug and tell you how proud I am of you. I feel like you're becoming my kindred spirit. Tell Hannah and Rachel that they are really good girls and thanks to their parents will grow up to be mature, self disciplined young ladies. Ruth is a woman of great patience who take the trouble not only to tell her girls why they are getting spanked but to have them articulate it so there's no misunderstandings.
When Rachel and Hannah's pants and panties were pulled back up over their stinging cheeks, and their crying calmed, they were put back intheir place against the wall.
"Alana shouldn't have agreed to give you chocolates, and she certainly shouldn't have agreed to lie to me about it. I want you girls to know that if something like this ever happens again you can expect the same spanking that Alana is going to get now" Ruth stated. She then called me to her, and for some reason, I went willingly. My bottom was already throbbing from the first spanking, and I wasn'thappy about the second. She bent me over her bed, and then pulled my panties down. She held me down and then proceeded to spank me with the spoon again. Except this time she spanked the same spot on one cheek several times...maybe 10 or 20. The intense burning pain I was feeling prevented me from actually counting. If she hadn't been pushing me down into the bed, I would have ran. She then stopped and repeated this process on the other cheek, and then pulled me up into a hug. I was shaking and crying, and didn't stop for some time. She bent down and pulled my panties and pants back up, which wasn't pleasant to say the least. She sent the girls to their room for half an hour to calm down, and reassured them that all was forgiven. Once we were alone together in the room, she spoke a lot more calmly and kindly to me.
"I know you aren't happy for being punished for giving into Rachel and Hannah" Ruth said. "But Alana, I can't have the three of you conspiring against Burke and I. We're outnumbered,and we won't have it. I hope you understand that."
"I do," I said. "I know that to me it's just a piece of chocolate, but to you it's a rule. And whether or not I think it's that important, it is to you, and you have a reason. I'm sorry Ruth."
"It's okay, it's okay" she said, hugging me. "But please, in the future, don't give them what they want if I've already said no."
"I won't" I said, and then went to my room to be alone.
I won't say those talks make it all seem worthwhile but there's acertain beauty to hearing those words. It says that your offense isforgiven and that your spanking was given with only the utmost caring and love. The hug is to assure you your offense and your punishmentis completely over. Learn from your mistakes and avoid such unpleasantness in the future. And in a few hours, you, Hannah, Rachel and Ruth will be exchanging more smiles and hugs.
So that's what happened. Please tell me that things like this have happened to you too. Tell me about your spankings, are they like mine? Thanks for your letter, hope to hear from you soon!